What could I have been?
How a little story made me think …
Today I read again in one of the most inspiring books I ever read, it’s: “Sum – Tales from the afterlives”. It consists of small little stories about options of afterlives – how it could be, what will happen to us, what will we experience after we have left this world – all done in a very fun way and very inspiring in regard to possible models how this world works, ideas about god, ourselves and concepts about humankind – very broadening views. One of those stories starts like this:
“In the afterlife you are judged not against other people, but against yourself. Specifically, you are judged against what you could have been.”
[David Eagleman, Sum Tales from the afterlives]
Boah, I was reading this while having a good cup of Earl Grey sitting in the sun. Oh, should I sit here? Don’t I have to do something else? Oh gosh: Who and what could I have been? Booooh, heavy. I actually felt a bit guilty instantly, but on the other hand I was grateful for that hint. Further in the book:
“… the afterworld is much like the present world, but it now includes all the yous that could have been. In an elevator you might meet more successful versions of yourself, perhaps the you that chose to leave your hometown three years earlier … These yous are not really you, they are better than you. They made smarter choices, worked harder, invested the extra effort … They played your cards better.”
[David Eagleman, Sum Tales from the afterlives]
Puuuh, heavy stuff. Did I play my cards best? What >>is<< best? Would it have been better if I would have stayed in the corporate world as an employee? Was would better mean? Was it really best for me to become self employed? Until now, I did not have had any doubts on this, but sometimes it might make sense to question things, which seemed to be (too) obvious – once.
Of course, we cannot change past, but what was best yesterday does not need to be best today. Yes, I could have used certain chances better, for sure, but today is today. I take this hint as a chance to really think how to play my “remaining cards” best. Of course, this will be today’s view and I feel reminded to do that from time to time in very general and do not take any situation including my own creations as given.
Self growth and personal development are high interest topics of mine for years, but sometimes it is so good to get reminded to implement and live in full what the self growth masters I learned from like Anthon Robbins, Brian Tracy and all the other gurus teach.
Take the chance and let it sink in and ask yourself: ‘What could I have been?’ (it’s OK to have a little ‘Grrrh’ in your breast while doing that) and then ‘What can I (still) be? What do I want to be?’
The rocking chair exercise is a good way to ponder on this and set priorities, make decisions and to go on with faith and inner stability.
Happy creations and take care …
Kath Rising
Multipreneur and Co-Founder of isemboo.com
PS: The named book is fun to read anyway :-), it’s actually written by a neuroscientist and too good not to include the amazon links 
The Rocking Chair Exercise
Looking back at your life with an age of 85
... this one looks like mine :-)
(takes 30-50 minutes)
Sometimes we get into doubts – about our life, how it could be, how it should be. Options which are given to us can be confusing and often do not make life easier to design and to live and to make appropriate decisions every day. This little exercise will help you to put most important things into an order, to set priorities and to make decisions accordingly.
Sit somewhere in silence, make sure that you are not going to be disturbed. If you do exercises regulary, in which you bring yourself into kind of separate reality or inner world (like counting down) do so, if not don’t worry.
Be in silence your eyes closed and imagine that you are sitting in a rocking chair (if you have one – even better, then sit in there). Imagine you sit in the rocking chair and that you are 85 years old. Imagine it with all details you can – to get into the mood: you have white hair, wrinkles, you are wearing some comfy slippers … sitting in your rocking chair … and you look back onto your life: Are you satisfied? Was it fulfilling? Did you do and achieve all you wanted in this life? Did you miss anything so far? [Now it’s getting interesting.]
In case you missed anything, what was it? What else should you have done? What else did you want to experience and didn’t? – Just explore. Explore missing pieces , events, people, things and undertakings that you would liked to have in your life and still don’t have. Take your time doing that.
When you think you have the main things together (may be just 1-5 things, not more), find out what’s really important of all that (1-2 items of the list), what is optional and what is really not so important.
Going further – have in mind the most important items of your list. Think back to the time of your actual current age outside the exercise (like 36, 43 whatever – in the now) but from the view of the 85 year old person, you are still sitting in the rocking chair being 85. Take the most important item from your list of undone things you just found out about and define what it really is (wife is not just wife, own business is not just own business, friends can be just friends, but what kind of friends/what interests you share etc.) – and your definition as an 85 year old may be different than it would be in the actual now. Try to make one sentence on this. Take your time doing this. …
Last step: figure out roughly the steps necessary to make it happen. How much time is left? How urgent is it? What are the main steps? What do you need to do to make it happen? Again: take all the time you need to do this.
If you have the main things together – come back into this reality and take notes of what you found out. [end exercise]
You can go back at any time to continue working on this, to go into more detail and to find out more.
Happy creations and take care …
Kath Rising
Multipreneur and Co-Founder of isemboo.com
This article is copright by isemboo.com, you may use this article at our web site if you keep the author and link to this page.
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